Cyrus doesn’t like the term “art thief.”
He prefers phrases like “borrow” and “lift” to describe how he and his band of misfits take the art from others, all to artificially boost the price of each piece.
“Leonardo da Vinci sold The Mona Lisa for $25,000, and nobody [cared] for 400 years until someone stole it,” Cyrus explains. “That smile is now worth $860 million because there’s a crazy story behind it.”
But they got caught after their last heist, and Interpol can send them to prison for a very long time. Interpol agent Abby is more than excited, since she’s been looking to bust the group for a very long time.
But then, Interpol offers the art thieves a deal. It involves Lars Jorgensen, a wealthy man who’s profited by funding terrorist groups and shorting the stocks that drop as a result of said attacks. Recently, Interpol has learned Lars has been in talks with a terrorist group called Leviathan, a hacker group who specializes in flooding cities.
All Interpol knows is that Leviathan only deals in gold. And Lars is transporting half a billion in the stuff from London to Zürich in order to pay them. And while Interpol can’t intervene (since moving your own gold around is perfectly legal), the agency can hire a team of thieves to steal it for them to sabotage the impending deal.
Abby tells Cyrus that if his team succeeds in the difficult mission, they’ll be granted pardon for all of the felonies they’ve committed over the years. And if they choose not to help Interpol, then they’re more than welcome to spend the rest of their days in a jail cell.
To little surprise, they all agree to help.
But the plan will need to be perfect. Because if they’re caught or otherwise fail … well, Lars Jorgensen isn’t the kind of guy who will just let bygones be bygones.
Cyrus attempts to get his crew to back out of the mission when he realizes that there’s a very real chance they could die. However, the others refuse to allow him to face the mission alone.
The mission will ultimately save many lives around the globe if successfully completed.
A terrorist group is called Leviathan, a mythical creature described in Job 41. We also hear a reference to Moses.
The camera briefly focuses on one woman’s clothed rear. Cyrus and Abby, stalling for time in a bathroom, attempt to make it sound like they’re having sex by loudly moaning. The two of them also kiss, and they reference an intimate interlude they had some time ago in Paris.
A man’s jet contains a pole for stripping. We hear a couple of references to sex. A man is given a sex toy which disguises a vital component for the heist. Cyrus comments on unidentified stains that are revealed with the use of a blacklight.
A song makes a crude reference to the male anatomy.
A woman gets shot in the leg before being shot in the head and killed. A man is fed to a dog offscreen. Someone falls to his death. Another person accidentally shoots himself in the hand. A woman is held at gunpoint and slapped in the face; she and Cyrus are thrown down a flight of stairs. People get into a fistfight, and a woman’s wrist is broken in the process.
A news report informs us that 13 people have died in a terrorist-induced flood.
The s-word is used 17 times. Other vulgarities include: “a–,” “b–ch,” “d–n,” “h—,” “p-ss,” “bloody” and “douche.” God’s name is taken in vain six times, and Jesus’ name is misused once.
People celebrate a heist by drinking champagne and shots of liquor; we later see them suffering the effects of a hangover. Characters discuss and consume other alcoholic drinks, too.
Cyrus and his crew steal some items, and they try to justify their actions by claiming that they only take from those who are “undeserving owners.” Ironically, this is immediately followed with Cyrus explaining how he just sold one such stolen painting to someone on the black market.
Lift isn’t about a British elevator or your friend giving you a ride. It’s an action comedy filled with violence, swearing and sex jokes.
Cyrus and his fellow thieves, should they succeed, will certainly benefit the world. After all, if Lars doesn’t have his gold, then Leviathan doesn’t get paid, and the extremist group won’t commit terrorist attacks that result in the deaths of thousands of people. And that’s certainly a good thing.
But saving lives isn’t a primary concern for this band of misfits. Making money and staying out of jail is. So while saved lives might be an end result of their heist, the story’s protagonists don’t exactly come across as the most noble of people, either.
That said, the bad guys here are far worse. Whereas Cyrus might steal a Van Gogh, Lars and his goons are willing to kill innocents and powerful crime bosses alike. As such, some people will die before the credits roll.
And don’t let that PG-13 rating fool you; Lift avoids uses of the f-word by relying frequently on the s-word and other expletives. What’s more, you’ll also have to endure some sex jokes, one of which drags on for some time.
So, while Cyrus and gang might bring a net good to the world if they complete their mission, Lift won’t be able to do the same for your living room.
Kennedy Unthank studied journalism at the University of Missouri. He knew he wanted to write for a living when he won a contest for “best fantasy story” while in the 4th grade. What he didn’t know at the time, however, was that he was the only person to submit a story. Regardless, the seed was planted. Kennedy collects and plays board games in his free time, and he loves to talk about biblical apologetics. He thinks the ending of Lost “wasn’t that bad.”
